Not everyone can make a long-distance relationship work. It requires patience, commitment and more importantly, Love. However, we cannot judge people on these grounds because sometimes you are so alone and fragile that you tend to overlook things and move away from the relationship. In order to avoid all the confusion and keep the love flowing you need to take extra care and be diligent in nurturing the relationship. Both of the partners need to do their bit in order to make things work. Though the distance makes the simplest things such as being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair a distant dream, the long-distance relationship has its own surprises too. So let's take a look at the 7 secrets for a successful long-distance relationship.
1. SEE IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.”
Both of you should be committed to making this work if you want your relationship to survive the test of time. You should be ready to work on it and do whatever it takes to be in touch and keep the love alive. You can have a goal in your mind as far as your relationship is concerned and that should help keep both of you on the same page. See it as an opportunity of learning to live apart for some time. See it as an opportunity to go on outdoor vacations together, book hotel room in some pristine location and enjoy together. Don't think of this as something that is pulling you apart and at the end of it both of you would come out with your love even stronger than before.
2. COMMUNICATE- BUT DON'T OVERDO IT
The very essence of any relationship is communication and keeping something as intricate as love alive you need to feed it its elixir and that is done by communicating regularly. Thanks to all the technical advancements, you can now be in touch with people all around the globe with just a few touches on your smartphone. Act as if you are right there with your love, a “good morning” and a “good night” each day would be fabulous. You will eventually wait for the morning message eagerly over time. That's how your relation will gradually transition. Try to remember the old days that you spent together and let nostalgia grow over you with the promise that you will again meet at the same coffee house or the park where you last met. You can also call over video and even sent pictures of you daily doing different things to up the curiosity and keep things lively. Though these things seem little, the person on receiving end understands that you still care for him or her and haven't forgotten the memories you both made.
However, don't be over sticky and always looming over your partner. It will be like you are too possessive and barging on the personal space of your other half. Take note of each other's schedule and try to call or chat at a common time when both of you are free. You are only going to let negativity creep in and will be exhausted so just keep teasing at the right moment and tug at the right spot.
3. BUILD TRUST AND STAY POSITIVE
Trust is to love what a foundation is to a building. You should never let distrust arise as it leads to insecurity and that weakens the relationship.
This doesn't mean you can't enjoy and go out with people, especially of the opposite gender, but it involves keeping your partner aware of all that you are doing. Even if you are not doing something wrong, a lie will break the trust beyond repair. You might go on holidays with your other friends, stay there in a hotel room and enjoy but you need to keep your partner informed of all your plans so that no miscommunication endangers your relationship.
You always need to stay positive for making this work. Though the wait is painful and the loneliness is killing but think about the reward of the wait and don't give up on your partner. Just be thankful for all that you have and think about the good times and how your partner is selflessly in love with you. Only such positive thoughts can keep you afloat while your partner is away.
4. SPEAK YOUR HEART OUT
It's very much probable that you and your partner have some disagreements. It is common in all relationships. But that doesn't mean you should keep mum and hide your feelings. If you have any problem any feeling of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever you should speak out to your partner rather than keeping it to yourself. No matter how much you hide it, one day it will be evident and that will hurt your partner a lot more. Sometimes, the truth may cause the relationship to fall apart but then it would be wiser to be alone and happy than to be miserable in a relationship. On a positive note, couples do work on themselves to accommodate each other's feelings and truths all the time and you are likely to win the trust and heart of your partner by being truthful.
5. VISIT YOUR LOVE
Visiting your love is like injecting adrenaline to the relationship. No matter how far you both are, try to visit your partner as often as you can. All the talks that you had while being away about how would you meet the next time and how you would hold hands, go on long drives etc would come to fruition. All the wait and sacrifices will finally pave the way to fulfill all your fantasies that you had stored from long. Cuddling, kissing, holding hands are common for couples but it becomes extra special and a privilege for couples in a long-distance relationship. You will definitely understand why Bollywood shows romantic scenes in which a guitar starts playing, the breeze starts flowing, and there are fireworks and balloons all around. Yeah, it's that magical!!!
You can also plan for holidays where both of you travel and meet at the destination. The joy will be overwhelming. Make sure you keep the hotel room booked prior to the visit and have an itinerary planed for the entire vacation period. Make sure you are booking couple friendly hotels and if you aren't weeded yet check if the hotel allows unmarried couples or not.
6. PLAN AND DO THINGS TOGETHER
How convenient that we are born in the 21st century. At a click of a button, you can be in touch with literally anyone in the world. That is an understatement. There are a lot more fun activities that you can do together over the internet. You can have a long-distance date night. You can have candlelight dinner over skype where both of you cook each other's favourite dish and feast on them together while talking. This experience will surely up the ante and you will feel the intimacy even more strongly.
You can even have fun online. Play a game like PUBG or FIFA online where you can play as well talk to each other. You won't realize how time flies while playing online. You can sing to your partner, buy gifts for each other and several other things. Now it's up to your creativity and spontaneity to the funny stuff. You can recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news etc. to each other. You can also create a watch party and watch the latest shows together. Ding things common to each other gives you infinite topics to talk about all day long. It is really amazing, the things that we can do over a shared space virtually. So go on and create some lovely experiences.
Must read: 10 Best multiplayer games You Can Play Online With your Friends During Quarantine
7. KEEP THE LONG TERM GOAL IN MIND
The fact of the matter is that no couple can be in a long-distance relationship forever. In the end, you have to settle down someday.
So plan your time apart together. Make a timeline, plan for your career and other stuff keeping in mind your future together. It is very important that both of you work towards realizing the same end goal. Therefore, even though you are not living together and several time zones separate you, you both work unilaterally towards a future that includes the other one. In order to do that, you need to be motivated and this comes from all the activities and engagements that you two continue to have even when you are apart physically.
Keep all these little things in mind and you will definitely better your relationship. Long-distance relationships do work if given the best shot and if both the partners are committed to realizing their future together. So with that said, pick up your phone and bridge the distance that has pulled you apart.