Ah, life! it can be a tough, tiring, tedious journey for most but it's without a doubt confusing for everyone. You might be trying to find the meaning of your very existence, simply trying to find couple-friendly hotels to get some intimate time with your partner or trying to choose what flavour of ice cream to get. And with such great confusion comes great uncertainty, as Forrest Gump said in the self-titled movie


"My mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get"
Forrest Gump (1994) Robert Zemeckis

Well for Indians it is mostly betrayal in the form of 'Sui dhaga' (sewing kit). This sense of self-enforced betrayal translates to how we deal with life as well. Now you are surely laughing (stop! And hear me out on this one), asking how does 'Sui dhaga' relate to life? Well, the keyword here is acceptance. Just like every time you see a box of chocolates/cookies and give yourselves a false sense of hope, "maybe this time?", whereas we can easily accept it less likely to have any delicacies from your past experiences and move on with your life. Well, we are going to make things a bit easier with this list, listing out uncomfortable Rules of Life everyone knows, but only a few follow, So here goes the gyaan

1. Acceptance

Illustration by Emily Roberts, Verywell​


Continuing the theme, acceptance is a rule we all know but are not at all keen to follow. Acceptance is also the fifth and final stage of Grief, as many of us are aware, with Denial & Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, and depression being the other four respectively. The main reason leading to lack of such a vital practice is well everyone wants a perfect life, where everything goes, well, even when we are very much aware of the likeliness of the outcome of a certain event. A common fallacy is to mistake Acceptance as the lack of hope or the most common counter-argument being "We'll deal with once it happens". What a lot of people fail to understand is the magnitude of unfavourable outcomes which we are mostly not ready for, where you can ease the pain by accepting things how they are. It can be something simple like making plans with your partner without accepting the fact that it is hard to find couple-friendly hotels for unmarried couples or something harder to swallow like the world is an unfair place and not everyone gets equal opportunities. In short, hope for the best and always be ready for the worst, and accept the worst with open arms, while striding towards your next goal. Raise your voice against inequality if needed but conserve some energy to breathe, the world isn't going to change in a single day.

2. Love Imperfections

The elegance of Imperfection source- alistapart.com

We as humans always have had this innate love for perfection. A lot owes to the hyper-competitive social structure we have been raised in, in your quest to find greatness and execute everything flawlessly, we treat the slightest of imperfection in accordance to the social norms as unacceptable. Such high standards of perfection have given the rise to a rat race. From trying to get high marks to pursue disciplines we lack interest in to fight to get the highest packages in Final placements, we have forgotten your core competencies in a conquest to fit the paper cut standards society has bestowed upon us to makes us a Cardboard cutout of a person. This is a sense of perfection has plagued every aspect of your life, to every action we make. From not being able to be best in a certain activity making us sad, to not meeting the high expectations of your manager making us feel not good enough, such expectations trickle down to personal life, making us dejected when we're not able to book that room in a 5-star hotel that your colleagues went for a holiday to. Stop, I mean seriously stop following the social standards, study what you like even though it might be the most niche thing, get a job you love even if it doesn't pay very high, travel to wherever you want. Understand one thing, your imperfection is what defines us, gives rise to individualism, and in a way makes us imperfectly perfect.

3. Trust but verify

Source- Art + Marketing

Let's be honest, we all have been there buying the story about that one friend we never liked even though we have been taught from your childhood there is always two sides to a story, but more often than not we forget it in your daily life. It is very easy to get convinced or accept a particular story especially when there is a conflict of interest for us. This is likely to leave us vulnerable to opportunistic people who'll twist words and narratives. A rule of thumb should be if you are not completely sure about a certain thing, let it be something that doesn't necessarily affect you or a simple fact related academics, just verify it with a credible source. Remember just because the mass majority says something doesn't mean it is true, especially pertaining to Objective truths. A thousand people can say 2+2=5, but that'd not change the fact the answer is 4, so don't follow the masses blindly. At the end of the day it is not possible to remove all prejudice, but practising this can greatly improve personal and work life, and can lead to mental peace. Initially, it is likely to be hard, considering you might feel at times not to go that extra mile to check, but once mastered can reap great benefits, as your consistency will lead friends and colleagues considering you highly credible, and there is nothing better than having people's trust.

4. Most things are meaningless

Twitter user: @PhilosophyMttrs

Consciously, some might claim they understand the meaning of life or have life figured out (pointing at people in their late teens) but as we grow older and wiser fewer things makes sense and such is life. Not to digress and turn this into a philosophical post but we all have had that one time we started to think about what is the point of everything, why are we doing anything? followed by killing the thought. But you know what? It's completely fine, rather embrace the thought and accept a lot of things we do is meaningless like that weekend you spent too much partying all night at a hotels in Mumbai, or buying that expensive book because you love to read, and in the end, if you enjoyed even after knowing nothing matters that's a level of mental peace many might envy, and rightly so. Having your mind aligned in such an asymmetric way allows one to live a life with no regrets.

5. No one owes you anything

Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash

This might be the most bitter truth to swallow, but I am going to put it out there unless there has a been a formal arrangement through a certain medium, no one owes you anything. A common reason behind disappointment towards friends, families or colleagues can be the 'untold' bond that they'll help you back because you help them. To put it into simpler words, help people for the sake of helping them, not because you are expecting something in return. If you want something in exchange for the aid, tell them beforehand to make an agreement or just ask help but be ready to take 'No' as an answer. Making assumptions which in return can turn in to a grudge, can greatly result in affecting your relationship with a lot of people, because one thing is being professional but no one likes a complete transitionary person, even in the workplace.

Late Spring (1949) By Yasujirō Ozu

In no way, these are explicit guidelines to life but a compilation of rules one can practise for living a self-empowered life. You can always adjust according to what you feel or what you believe in backed by logic and rational thinking. At the end of the day, you can lie to the whole world, but not to yourself.

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